Dear men,
I am so fucking angry.
I am angry at Russell Brand after hearing the news and watching the documentary. I am angry at the people that let him continue without consequence. I am angry at the people that instantly jump to victim shame the brave women that came forward. I am angry at the people who are jumping to defend him.
I am angry that I can’t detach from stories like this in the media as easily as you can. I am angry that you can just let it wash over you, relieved that you are one of the ‘good guys’. I am angry that you probably won’t engage with this, because it’s all just hypotheticals to you. I am angry because stories like this are not just hypotheticals to women. They are our reality.
I am angry at those of you that make rape jokes. I am angry at the people who laugh at those jokes. I am angry at the people who change the subject rather than confronting these vile and completely unfunny ‘jokes’.
I am angry at those of you who violate us and silence us and make us look crazy. I am angry at the ‘good guys’ that do fuck all about it - if you’re a ‘good guy’ reading this, what are you going to do about it? Will you share this? Or is that ‘too much’? Am I being too intense? Am I one of those feminists? Are you worried your friends will make fun of you for being ‘too woke’ or a ‘simp’?
I am angry that I even chose the image to this letter with you in mind, because if it was ‘too girly’ then you wouldn’t have read it, don’t get defensive, you know I’m right.
I am angry at those of you that still go for beers with your mates when you KNOW they have assaulted women. I am angry at those of you who think you aren’t part of the problem when you let it slide because ‘it’s just what he’s like!’. I am angry at those of you who believe your perpetrator mates even when the woman they assaulted are also a friend of yours. I am angry at those of you pretending you don’t know what your boys get up to despite the fact they probably brag about it in your group chat.
I am angry at those of you that are ‘not all men’ men - even though all the women you know have probably experienced sexual harassment, assault or rape, often at the hands of men they know. I am angry you claim to know none of these men even though we both know you probably do.
I am angry at those of you telling us to ‘calm down’ and to stop being so ‘emotional’ when you are allowed to throw your toys out the pram over a literal game of grown men kicking a ball around a field.
I am angry at those of you who don’t believe sexism still exists - and yes, these men do exist, I’ve seen them in my Instagram comments. I am angry that women have been so brainwashed that they dutifully uphold the patriarchy without a second thought probably because they were stuck married to some misogynistic arsehole when women weren’t even allowed to open a bank account without them.
I am angry at society for not believing women. I am angry at your career being valued above our lives. I am angry at newspapers that slut-shame and turn rape into click-bait headlines. I am angry when the word alleged is highlighted when a man is accused of something horrific but the women accusing them are 100%, definitely lying.
I am angry at the police because we can’t even trust them. I am angry when we are told to trust them because it’s just a few bad apples. I am angry at the stories I hear about women being laughed at and mocked and judged by the police when they report an assault. I am angry at the justice system for proving to us that there’s no point reporting because they’re more bothered about ruining your reputation than protecting us.
I am angry that I don’t get taken seriously when I am angry simply because I am a woman. I am angry that I had to re-read this several times before posting because I am not afforded the same leeway as men when I am trying to say something serious. I am not allowed to misstep, or misspell or misspeak.
I am angry that when women are angry they are branded emotional but when you are angry it isn’t seen as an emotion at all. In fact, you are applauded for your anger. You are crowned as leaders and protectors because of it.
I am angry at all the men that told me ‘men are trash’, ‘men are pigs’, ‘men are dangerous’ who then turn around and throw a tantrum when I dare say I am scared of men. I am angry at those of you that insist there is no danger, that we are overreacting, in the same breath as telling us we need you for protection.
To that I ask you…what is it, exactly, that we need protecting from?
Thank you for reading. Please do share this.
Until next time…
Georgia x