Happy ADHD Anniversary to me

Taken after being diagnosed | October 26th 2022

Today marks one year since I got medically diagnosed with combined type ADHD. 

One year since I had someone confirm what I knew to be true, my brain IS different.

But even though I got that green tick on a piece of paper, my journey actually started much before that.

I have always been, and will always be, a loud advocate for self-diagnosis because it changed my world and saved my life. Without learning these things about my brain and how it worked differently to others around me I probably wouldn’t be here. 

I know people like to get angry about social media and they think ‘everyone is just diagnosing themselves from TikTok these days!’ but the truth is the lived experiences shared on social media is the reason so many people are getting the support, answers and help they have desperately needed for years. And for those it makes angry, then I don’t know what to tell them, they’re probably ableist, will never ‘get it’ and I have no desire to waste my precious energy explaining it to them.

For those that DO get it:

Growing up with an inherent feeling that something is wrong with you but being told ‘everyone does that’ and getting labeled as lazy, dramatic, attention seeking, over-sensitive, rude and difficult completely ruins your self-esteem. It makes you question your reality and it slowly eats away at you. Not only are you gaslit by everyone around you, including doctors and so-called specialists, but you start to gaslight yourself too. You completely lose trust in your own judgement and that bleeds into every aspect of your life. Your ability to make choices for yourself disappears because what if you make the wrong choice? You start to hide who you are, learning that it’s easier and safer that way, you can make people like you then and everything will be ok. You push aside the feelings of loneliness and being different and try even harder to ‘fit in’. 

And it’s not until years later that you realise you’ve completely lost yourself beneath layers and layers of masks that don’t belong to you. Masks that were created to please others in an attempt to be accepted. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t but if it didn’t work that was ok because you just layered on another mask for them, burying yourself deeper and deeper, until you landed on a version that was socially acceptable. 

The day my friend asked me ‘have you ever thought you might have ADHD George?’ changed the whole trajectory of my life. I will forever be in debt to my wonderful, fellow ADHD friend Susie for opening my world that day, holding my hand through the whole process and loving and accepting me as I am. 

This is why I share my story. It’s why I will continue to bang on about ADHD and neurodivergence and self-diagnosis until I am blue in the face. Because if I can make one person feel the way Susie made me feel then it will be worth it. 

Wherever you are in your journey right now, whether you’re self-diagnosed or medically diagnosed, you are welcome here and you matter.

Thank you for reading.

Lots of love,

Georgia x

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