Six New Zealand Takeaways
(the lesson kind not the food kind)
I spent the month of May in New Zealand with my Mum as a sort of mental health/reading/writing self-retreat. It was a joint decision between Jake (my husband) and myself because I was in a really bad place mentally.
I was overwhelmed by all the new things I had learned about myself in the past 4 years (my neurodivergence, bisexuality and chronic illness), drowning in a depressive episode and it all sort of came to a head.
We decided it would be good for me to take some time away from my everyday environment to see if it would act as a sort of reset button.
Here’s six things I learnt from my month long trip:
Routine is an absolute must for me. I thrive with it and flounder without it. I actually used to hate routine and structure - it bored me to death and was the reason I left a lot of jobs because I couldn’t cope with the monotony of it. I realise now that is the ADHD side of my brain: the side that craves interest, novelty, challenge, urgency and passion (or ‘INCUP’ a term first proposed by psychologist William Dodson). However, since discovering I’m also autistic, I have embraced the comfort and structure a routine provides me with. Without a routine, my ADHD brain takes over and runs WILD, leading me astray from what I want to be doing and most likely ending up in a doom scroll hole. To support both sides of my brain I need to create a flexible routine. I will write more on this in another post.
I am addicted to my phone. Eek! I am honestly embarrassed to admit this BUT I think a lot of people probably feel the same so my hope is that in sharing this I can relieve some of our shame around it. Again, this is a whole post in itself so stay tuned.
I need books. This may sound dramatic but I need to read, specifically fiction books, to regulate and soothe myself. As a neurodivergent person I process the world very differently from neurotypical people. I become saturated with information more easily (autistic brains generate 42% more information at rest), I become overwhelmed, overloaded and overstimulated more often and this leads to more severe (and regular) burnout than allistics (non-autistic people) and neurotypicals. So I learnt that it is paramount that I engage in activities that regulate and soothe me, often; the main one of those happens to be reading.
Little joys add up to big joy. Wearing cute outfits, burning incense and having a show to binge watch brings me an immense amount of joy and they are so easy to do! I need to sprinkle these glimmers of joy into my days.
Life is easier when I accommodate myself. There’s something about the anonymity of being in a different country that allows you to let go of any hang ups you have, isn’t there? I felt more comfortable wearing my noise cancelling headphones when I needed to and just generally being my unmasked self more than I do when I’m in my hometown. But things were much more manageable when I wore my headphones or loops, asked for what I needed or used a stim toy. So I’m carrying this revelation forwards and will continue to accommodate myself more unapologetically. The biggest change here is I will be getting a walking stick to support me when I am out and about. I refuse to be uncomfortable just to try to make others comfortable.
I need alone time. I knew this anyway, but this trip really solidified that knowledge and reminded me of the importance of it. I am a better, nicer, calmer, happier version of myself when I am able to have regular alone time to decompress and recharge.
Thank you for reading and letting me share this with you. I really enjoy writing more openly and intimately exclusively for those of you that subscribe (free or paid), and I’m so grateful that you support my work.
Until next time…
Georgia x